i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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