Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She bit a glass in half.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
