I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
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I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
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I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?