My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?