already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
