I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?