I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
