No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I need a beard to bite.