she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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