oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
now i know why i became what i already was.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
