why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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