I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
