You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
