there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Randomize
