Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
