Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize