I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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