I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
