And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
