And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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