Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
