I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
