i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Randomize
