Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize