But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
