I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
