She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
