I think im going to throw up on grandma
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
