He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
