your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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