I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize