I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize