Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
