i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize
