yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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