can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
