she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
