if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My dick has a subreddit
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
