is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
