whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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