New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
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Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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