So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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