so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
