Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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