i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
