This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
