Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
