All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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