when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
