so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.