Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.

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  (973): YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower. http://tfl.nu/tblp
  Replies (2) Good night (1538) Bad night (438)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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  (817): Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have. http://tfl.nu/2nqb
  Replies (23) Good night (647) Bad night (4591)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

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  (312): Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer. http://tfl.nu/54ng
  Replies (19) Good night (8069) Bad night (819)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog

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  (860): Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog http://tfl.nu/fdsx
  Replies (27) Good night (1525) Bad night (7286)
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  (707): View more from California

  Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.

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  (707): Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room. http://tfl.nu/g35c
  Replies (14) Good night (4450) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do

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  (201): the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do http://tfl.nu/8wsa
  Replies (24) Good night (1397) Bad night (4308)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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  (201): Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them. http://tfl.nu/ciek
  Replies (20) Good night (3098) Bad night (946)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'

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  (615): I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA' http://tfl.nu/bh1s
  Replies (3) Good night (1821) Bad night (618)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.

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  (512): Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back. http://tfl.nu/xf8c
  Replies (5) Good night (997) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?

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  (315): Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er? http://tfl.nu/auy8
  Replies (6) Good night (633) Bad night (588)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?

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  (419): So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk? http://tfl.nu/8zbp
  Replies (8) Good night (548) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants

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  (919): Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants http://tfl.nu/k1dy
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY

  (618): View more from Illinois

  CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  The D is nonnegotable.

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  (952): FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY (618): CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3? (952): The D is nonnegotable. http://tfl.nu/i957
  Replies (4) Good night (869) Bad night (232)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  For the caroling or the orgy?

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  (856): Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata. (856): For the caroling or the orgy? http://tfl.nu/xsvg
  Replies (2) Good night (536) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...

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  (506): Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment... http://tfl.nu/gd0h
  Replies (6) Good night (1126) Bad night (282)

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