Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Drunk is not a location!