don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO