I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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