Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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