so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
