we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
