Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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