I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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