I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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