i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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