I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
