So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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