If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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