It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
