it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
