Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
