Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
