Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
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Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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