Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
